


Cockroaches Might Survive But Ravens Get To Fly

by Furuba_Fangirl



Series: The Raven and the Roach [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Study, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Headcanon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-15 00:21:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17518649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Furuba_Fangirl/pseuds/Furuba_Fangirl
Summary: A smart, beautiful girl falls from the sky… literally. Leave it to John Murphy to be the one to shoot said girl in the back, permanently disabling her. Just one of many things on his list of fuckups.-While Raven and Murphy are stuck on the Eligius together, they both reflect on their strange relationship throughout the years





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello lovely readers! After a two year hiatus from watching The 100, I finally got back into it and OMG I'm living for the development of all these characters! I'm especially invested in Raven and Murphy's friendship/relationship so I had to scratch that itch by writing about them. This is my first fic for this fandom so let's hope I didn't fuck it up (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧
> 
> P.S. this takes place around 5X04 but let's pretend Diyoza actually agreed to Bellamy's terms and this is the Murven moment that should have happened as a result :3 Also fair warning: There are spoilers.

A smart, beautiful girl falls from the sky… literally. Leave it to John Murphy to be the one to shoot said girl in the back, permanently disabling her. Just one of many things on his list of fuckups.

Murphy didn’t really know Raven back at the Ark; however, he did know _of_ her. She was basically a goddamn prodigy. While she was soaring her way to being the youngest Zero- G Mechanic, he was scraping cafeteria trays just to earn a couple extra rations for himself.

Things didn’t seem to have changed on Earth either. While he was getting mercilessly beat and tortured by Grounders, she was setting up communication with the Ark. He was banished, but in a manner of a few days, she had made herself indispensable to the group. He didn’t know her and yet felt an undeniable envy towards her. Envy… with a hint of admiration. An admiration he didn’t know he had until he almost snuffed it out.

At the moment, he was more than fine thinking that he had killed Octavia. Anything to make Bellamy hurt. Anything to lead him to the respect he was so desperately searching for. That came crashing down once he realized what he had truly done… As he watched Raven writhe in pain, coughing up blood, Murphy wished she hadn’t run out of bullets.

Although if looks alone could kill, he would’ve been the one in a pool of his own blood. He’ll never forget the unfiltered hatred in those dark eyes. Aside from rage, there was a sense of desperation in them. As if they were scanning for a reason as to why he had done that to her. The scariest part is that they got to him. He found himself confessing his pathetic life story (or at least part of it) to her. Maybe he was looking for sympathy or absolution for his actions; something, perhaps deservingly, she wasn’t willing to give him. “Boohoo,” she jeered coldly.

Murphy didn’t blame her though… He had confined the most brilliant person currently on the planet to a leg brace and she would be his constant reminder of what he had done. It seemed like after that point, everything he did to redeem himself for it only seemed to cause her more pain. When he tried to help Finn find Clarke, it ended with Raven watching him die before her eyes. His quest with Jaha to ‘find salvation’ ended with A.L.I.E. almost melting her brain.

Needless to say, he understood why she hated him so much. That part was easy to get but what he couldn’t understand was why the hell she would forgive him. He tells himself that it was because it was the end of the world or because she thought she was dying. Still… the way she held him as they said their, supposed, last goodbye. It was genuine and kind and… it was the forgiveness he craved his whole life. His own mother couldn’t even forgive him for getting his father killed. Yet, the smart, beautiful girl he shot was willing to grant him that even if maybe he didn’t deserve it.

He thinks it was at that point that admiration evolved into affection. On bad days, like the day Emori got tired of him and broke things off, Murphy liked going back to that day at the lab. He liked remembering the warmth of Raven’s tan skin against his and the gentleness of her eyes… It reminded him that maybe he wasn’t so worthless after all.

***

Murphy’s eyes flutter open as he hears the door to the cryo-room opening, meaning naptime was over. He gives the door to the chamber a quick push and it opens up with a whir, causing Raven to jump back. “Murphy!” She scolds as he emerges, “You thought this was a good place to take a nap?”

He rubs his face and responds groggily, “Yeah, why not? These guys have been doing it for 100 years.” He clambers out of the chamber. “What, you didn’t seriously think one of them was waking up? I thought you said that wasn’t possible—“

“It’s not!” she assures angrily.

He saunters toward her. “Then what exactly are you doing here, Raven?  Coming to hang out with all the people you might have to kill,” he pries. Before he realizes what he said, Raven’s face falls and she storms out the door. He presses his fist on his forehead. _Way to fuck up again, Murphy_ , he berates himself. He quickly follows behind, calling out, “Wait! Raven, wait. I didn’t mean that. I know how hard this is…”

She turns around, her brown eyes on the brink of tears. Murphy hates that it’s because of him again. “Look… I’m sorry I was a bitch before. I just… I’m just scared I won’t be able to pull the plug,” she croaks.

“I know…” he sympathizes. This isn’t the first he’s seen her so painfully conflicted. He saw it when she was trying to ration Arkadia’s medicine knowing that people were suffering because of it. Murphy saw how wracked with guilt she was when Abby told her that she was killing them. So, he decided to make the choice for her so she didn’t have to feel like the bad guy… “That’s why I’m going to do it.”

Her eyebrows raise. “Murphy—“

“Just wait... Everybody was so surprised when I stayed behind, most of all me. Thought I was doing it to impress Emori but the more I think about it…” his voice trailing off as his eyes lock with hers. Raven swallows thickly under his intense stare.   _It was for you… because I couldn’t bear to leave you again. Especially, with this burden._ “I mean, why do you always have to be the one to sacrifice?” He squeezes her shoulder gently and she relaxes under his touch. “Anyways, if it comes down to it… I’ve got this,” he promises.

She nods her head in agreement and places her hand on his. “Thank you, Murphy…” she murmurs, still sniffling a bit.

He turns his face a bit to hide the fact that he’s blushing. “Well, we don’t have to worry about that now... In the meantime, I think I have an idea to pass the time,” he suggests with an impish smile.

Raven eyes him suspiciously. “Listen, Murphy, you offering to pull the death lever isn’t my idea of foreplay,” she retorts.

Murphy lets out a hearty laugh. “Get your mind out of the gutter, Reyes.” He takes her by the hand and starts leading her to the captain’s quarter. “Trust me, we’ll have fun.”

-

Murphy dribbles the soccer ball past Raven, pretending to be the game announcer. He gives the ball a swift kick into the corridor they deemed the goal post and cheers, “And Murphy scores, leaving Reyes in the dust! A whopping five goals to her meager three!”

She rolls her eyes at him and claps sarcastically. “Wow, congrats. You beat the crippled girl,” she quips playfully.

“Hey, don’t give me that crap! Once forgiven, you’re no longer allowed to pull the woe-is-me card on me!” He says it jokingly but part of him is scared she’ll say she hasn’t actually forgiven him.

Instead, she smiles at him softly. “Fair enough,” she relents. “But I want a rematch.”

“Sounds like a plan but first…” He pulls out a package from his jacket. “Snack time.”

He tosses it at Raven and upon further inspection, she beams happily. “Chocolate chip cookies! Where did you find these?”

Murphy pulls out his own packet. “Captain must’ve had a bit of sweet tooth. He had this stash in a small, high-tech pantry so hopefully, they’re still fresh.” He slides down onto the floor and Raven joins him. The pair happily munches on their acquired baked goods, noting they’re a thousand times better than the ones from the Ark; Murphy described those as “powdered ass” which nearly made Raven choke on a few crumbs.

As they finish up their snack, Murphy notices Raven glancing over. “What? Do I got something on my face?” He starts wiping around his mouth.

Raven chuckles lightly. “No, you’re good. It’s just… I’m glad you stayed behind with me, Murphy. It means a lot…”

Murphy’s cheeks heat up at her comment and he rubs his nape nervously. “Hmm, isn’t that ironic… A few years ago, I’m sure you would’ve rather floated yourself than be stuck with me.”

Raven notes the self-deprecation in his voice. She puts his her hand on his forearm and he looks up at her. “…Probably,” she answers bluntly. “Actually, scratch that. I definitely would’ve but… things change. I mean you’re still kind of a dick but I think you’ve come far,” she compliments.

A small grin appears on his lips. “That’s why I like you, Raven… You’re honest to a fault and you tell me how it is. Most importantly you don’t expect anything from me…” Murphy thinks that’s where his relationship with Emori went wrong. On earth, she held him in high regards because they had the common goal of surviving and he was pretty damn good at it. But back in space, there wasn’t much _to_ survive (except maybe Monty’s disgusting algae soup) so… they no longer had the same objective and he was holding her back.

It was Raven’s turn to blush this time. “Well… I’ve always thought low expectations lead to pleasant surprises.”

Murphy hadn’t realized how close they were until he feels her breath from her slightly parted lips. He lifts a hand up and gently tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, causing her to shudder a bit. This causes him to retract. “Sorry… Didn’t mean to creep you out.”

“N-no, John, that’s not why I…” She grabs his hand and softly places it back on her face. “It was nice…” she mutters.

Murphy’s eyes widen, realizing Raven had never called him by his first name before. He grazes his thumb against her pink-tinted cheek. A staggered sigh escapes her lip as she gazes into his eyes. Slowly, they start to gravitate towards each other until they’re lips are barely grazing. It’s Raven, who grabs him by the back of the neck and collides their lips together. It’s electrifying and Murphy can taste the sweetness from the cookies on her lips. He can feel her clutching at his shirt as he adds small ministrations with his tongue, earning a surprised moan from her. If he wasn't so overwhelmed by all the senses surrounding him, Murphy would've sworn it was a dream.

They pull away to catch their breath, neither one of them able to wipe the smile off their face.


	2. What's the Point of Flying Solo?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven's thoughts on Murphy throughout the years

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I decided to just add another chapter to this part because it's mostly a parallel of chapter one. However, I am going to make another part for this series that will be a direct continuation of this story. Also, part 2 will definitely be the NSFW portion of this fic so buckle up ;)

Raven wanted to hate John Murphy. She wanted to hate his snarky remarks and that damn cynical smile of his. She wanted to hate him for the mooching little cockroach she thought he was. Things would’ve been simpler if she _could_ just hate him but when has life ever been simple for her?

The fact she sympathized with the man that shot her was what frustrated her the most. Because with every petulant comment, there was also a refreshing bluntness. For every cocky smirk, there was an undeniable charm. Behind the roach… a boy who was made to feel worthless by the person that was supposed to love him unconditionally. Slowly, her hatred turned to tolerance to friendship to…something else. Although there were certain moments, she suspects, contributed to that evolution.

The day at the lab was one of them. When she told him she was staying behind, she expected him to not even give her a second thought. She expected him to flippantly tell her that it was her death wish if she wanted to soar off into space… Leave it to him to end up surprising her.

“I’m sorry…” he muttered, voice thick with regret. “I’m sorry for doing this to you, Raven…” As she stared back at those sorrowful blue eyes, she knew he truly meant it. He had convinced himself that she was dying because of him and she didn’t want him to carry that guilt with him… When she hugged him goodbye, she could feel the tension leave his body; almost as if she had lifted a lifetime of burdens away with that singular motion. She’d be lying if it wasn’t nice for her too… tender and safe are how she’d describe it. At the time though, she couldn’t allow herself to enjoy it knowing Murphy had someone waiting for him and all she had was the ghost in her head telling her to get back to work.

She was able to push her feelings down then but when you’re stuck with the same people in a metal tin can for over six years, it becomes a bit more difficult. One specific instance was five years, six months and ten days after _Praimfaya._ Raven was tossing and turning in her sleeping bag, still tirelessly running through plans to get them back on the ground. She had crunched every number and ran every simulation, yet she felt like she was nowhere near finding a solution. One of her more ludicrous ideas was somehow using algae as an alternative source for rocket fuel…needless to say she scrapped that idea fairly quickly.  As the clock continued to tick, part of her wished she still had Becca frying her brain. At least then, she wouldn’t feel like she was failing everyone… or that she had let Clarke die in vain.

She groaned in frustration, causing Emori to stir a bit in her sleep. Not wanting to disturb her new roommate any further, she decided to take a walk around the ring. She quietly strapped her brace on and went to clear her mind a bit. There was something haunting, yet relaxing, about walking the silent corridors and just listening to the echoing of her footsteps. As she walked further and further away, she started hearing a rhythmic thumping. For a second, she thought she was listening to Monty and Harper (or quite possibly Bellamy and Echo) fooling around. However, considering she was some distance away from everyone’s quarters, Raven decided it was unlikely.

As she got closer to the thumping, she suddenly saw a shadowy object zoom past her head and she ducked with a yelp. When she turned to see what it was, she saw a blue bouncy ball rolling down the hall. “Shit,” she swore under her breath, as she swept it up.

“Did I scare you, Reyes?” Raven didn’t even have to turn around to know Murphy had that crooked grin plastered on his face.

She chucked the ball at him, hitting him square in the chest with a thud and causing him to let out a small _ow._ “Hilarious, Murphy,” she deadpanned. While she wasn’t amused by his little stunt, she wasn’t completely displeased to see him. After his fight with Emori and after he moved out of the living quarters, no one had really seen him around much. The only sign of life from him the last few weeks was an empty bowl left in the hall, letting them know that he had at least eaten. “What the hell are you doing up?”

Murphy tossed the ball in the air and caught it again. “I could ask you the same thing. What brings you to my neck of the woods?”

“I couldn’t sleep… I needed to wind my brain down,” she shrugged. “What’s your excuse?”

“Unlike all of you, I can’t take sleeping in this rust-bucket anymore,” he huffed

Raven set her jaw, hearing the reproach in his voice.  She was about to clap back at him but she did notice the bags under his eyes and his unkempt hair and beard. Guilt started creeping back into her mind remembering that she was the one that had promised to get them back. She sighed, “Well…seeing as neither of us can sleep… mind if I keep you company?”

Murphy stared blankly at her until finally answering indifferently, “Sure.”

He tossed her the ball and she caught it one-handedly. “On one condition though,” she bartered.

He quirked an eyebrow at her, suspicious of what she had planned.

-

She tucked the space blanket into the collar of his Henley and he shook his head in annoyance. “I can’t believe you convinced me to let you do this.”

Raven motioned for him to kneel down, scissors in hand. “Maybe because once you stop looking like shit, you’ll stop feeling like it too,” she reasoned light-heartedly.

“That’s a bold assumption. I know you’re a genius but I don’t think you’re a miracle worker,” he joked sarcastically, causing her to giggle.

“Shut up and tilt your head forward,” she instructed. He did as he was told and she started trimming the locks at the back of his head.

They stayed in a comfortable silence as Raven continued to snip away. As she worked on the front, she observed the tranquility on Murphy’s face. His eyes had slipped shut and his scowl had disappeared, highlighting his handsome features. “You really know what you’re doing,” he pointed out a bit sleepily.

“I had some practice,” she explained, remembering a time when she would do this for Finn.

“Is there seriously anything you can’t do?”

Her face fell a bit. “…Apparently, I can’t get us back home,” she murmured self-depreciatingly.

Murphy opened his eyes but she avoided his gaze, merely focusing on the task at hand. He lightly touched her wrist to draw her attention to him. “Hey... I know you’ve been trying and I know I’ve been the one who’s bitched the most about going back but if anyone can get us back… it’s going to be you.”

Raven’s felt a tickling in her stomach at his reassuring words and touch. _Tender and safe_ , her mind supplied. “Thanks for the pep talk…”

He let go of her wrist, leaving a lingering warmth on her skin. “No problem… Now, tell me,” he requested to change the subject. “How did you turn out to be so good at everything? I mean, I told you about my sad life on the Ark. It’s only fair that you tell me how you became the next Einstein.”

Raven resumed cutting a few stray strands of hair. “Einstein was a physicist. I’m more akin to Tesla or von Braun,” she corrected.

He rolled his eyes at her. “You know what I meant.”

Raven paused for a few seconds, debating if she should tell him the watered down version she had practiced her whole life. Yet, there seemed to be an unspoken agreement between them. An openness that they had entrusted to each other… “My mom was an alcoholic and my dad… well, I doubt she ever knew who he was,” she recanted. “Even though she seemed to make it her mission to make me feel like I was an inconvenience to her… I had people who believed that I wasn’t.” She glanced down at Murphy, attentively listening to her. “I had the boy next door who would share his food with me and would stay up with me while I studied. I had a mentor that stuck his neck out for me. Most importantly… I had myself to remind me I’d be a better person than my mother...”

He remained stoic for a bit after she concluded her story, part of her wondering what was going through his mind. “So…you’re saying you got lucky,” he quipped, flashing her a grin.

Raven lightly punched his arm. “You’re an asshole. You know that, Murphy?”

“Yet, that doesn’t seem to deter you,” he retorted with a wink.

She smiled at him fondly, knowing there was no point in denying it. Perhaps, that’s what scared her the most as she stared into his sharp eyes. She saw him for who he was but he saw right through her too. She quickly looked away and cleared her throat as she handed him a mirror. “Here. You are all done.”

Murphy ran his hand through the shortened locks and gave her a nod of approval. He passed the mirror back silently but she could tell he wanted to say something. “You know… you fucking showed your mom,” he mumbled, as he pulled the space blanket off not meeting her eyes this time. She raised her eyebrows at him but chuckled regardless at his version of a compliment and he reciprocated it with a faint smile. A yawn escaped her lips as a sudden wave of tiredness washed over her. “You should probably get some rest,” he recommended.

Raven rubbed her eye sleepily and nodded in agreement. “What about you?”

“I’ll be fine. I’ll manage to get a couple hours in at least,” he assured, as he handed her the supplies back.

Before she turned to leave, she piped up, “Murphy… you know you showed your mom too, right?” The boy’s eyes widened in surprise at her comment. “I mean, you’re part of the reason we survived… Don’t forget that.”

His shocked expression softened to that of one appreciation. “’Night, Raven,” he responded nonchalantly.

“Goodnight, Murphy…” As she walked away, she heard the lone thumping of the bouncy ball again.

Raven always knew that they had undeniable bond because of their broken pasts. However, it was at that moment she allowed herself to acknowledge that her connection to him had grown into a genuine attraction. Unfortunately, she didn’t know if Murphy would, or could, accept that there was something more…

***

“That’s why I like you, Raven… You’re honest to a fault and you tell me how it is. Most importantly you don’t expect anything from me…”

Raven can feel her cheeks heat up and the only thought her mind manages to form is _…Holy shit._ “Well… I’ve always thought low expectations lead to pleasant surprises,” she breathes. Although, admittedly, with Murphy, it isn’t necessarily that she doesn’t expect anything from him. It’s just that she doesn’t know _what_ to expect from him but she can’t really elaborate when he’s this fucking close to her.

Her mind basically goes blank when his fingers caress her cheek as he tucks her hair back, the contact sending a pleasant chill through her skin. _Holy shit._

She can see his regret as he pulls away from her. “Sorry… Didn’t mean to creep you out.”

“N-no, John, that’s not why I…” she comforts. Raven reaches for his hand and holds it to her face, encouraging him to continue. “It was nice…”

Murphy looks at her wide-eyed, probably as shocked by the intimacy of the situation as she is but… she doesn’t want it to stop. She doesn’t want to push anyone away anymore, especially not Murphy who’s experienced enough rejection in his life. Their fears seem to melt away together as he runs his thumb against her cheek. She gazes up at him, in awe, and they start leaning in closer and closer. The warmth of his pale skin and the subtle brush of his chapped lips are enough to drive her crazy as she crashes their lips together. It’s uncoordinated but passionate and she can’t help but whimper as Murphy runs his tongue against hers. She grips the front of his shirt like a vice, trying to keep herself anchored to reality.

They separate a bit, both of them breathless and giddily grinning at each other. Raven gently rubs their noses together and all she can manage to giggle is, “Holy. Shit.”

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments are always appreciated <3\. I might make another part from Raven's POV if enough people like this part :D


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